the TINY stall screamed my name. i wonder if the lady at the sink heard me sigh, under my breath when i saw the small space the bathroom designers actually expected me squeeze into. no kidding, my ass touched the sides of the blasted stall! but i really had to pee. and so i subjected myself to the indignity of being a fat woman squeezing herself into a skinny woman’s toilet stall. i did the sideways squeeze into the stall. then had to really suck it in to close the door. pulling my pants down, yeah that posed a real challenge. who needs yoga, i’m thinkin’? not me! i scraped my ass on the edge of the toilet paper dispenser. i kept thumping the wall of the stall the adjoins to the only other toilet stall in the bathroom. like some sort of penned up livestock.

a deep fried chicken sandwich fashioned from a krispy kreme donut. uh, this here’s a deep fried chicken sandwich with raspberry filling in it! when chicken charlie’s originally released this delicacy, they topped it with cheese. apparently, that grossed out customers. so chicken charlie’s accommodated its customers. and voila! no more cheese. apparently no one complained about the raspberry filling, tho. getting fat and staying fat just got a little easier.

i guess you could say i fulfill requirements for weird. of course, trying to emulate that intellectual aire of sophistication that seems to accompany rationalizing everything under the sun, i prefer the word eccentric. it bears less negative connotations, if you ask me. and yeah, y’are askin’ me, coz this here’s mah blog. eccentric. yeah. with a little kink tossed in and some rebellion, too. so … i’se here. i’se arrived. stay tuned …